The World's Version of Marriage

“As you go forth from BYU, you will likely encounter increasing debate about the definition of marriage. Many of your neighbors, colleagues, and friends will have never heard logical and inspired truths about the importance of marriage as God Himself defined it.” – Russel M. Nelson

Had you told me 10 years ago that this quote would be relevant in my personal life, I’m not sure that I would have believed you. Nor would I have believed that not one, but two of my very best friends would leave their husbands and children and turn to homosexuality. One of them even chose to marry her girlfriend. They have now been married for about five years.  

I cannot describe to you the extreme change in both of these dear friends. They each went from serving with me in leadership positions in the Church, to denying all that they used to testify of and teach. My heart aches for them. I love them and miss them with all my heart. But, as President Nelson mentions in his address, “…you will likely encounter increasing debate about the definition of marriage”, I can testify that that is true, even among our dearest friends and family.

In the Obergefell v. Hodges(2015) article, C.J. Roberts shares, “This universal definition of marriage as the union of a man and a woman is no historical coincidence. Marriage did not come about as a result of a political movement, discovery, disease, war, religious doctrine, or any other moving force of world history—and certainly not as a result of a prehistoric decision to exclude gays and lesbians. It arose in the nature of things to meet a vital need: ensuring that children are conceived by a mother and father committed to raising them in the stable conditions of a lifelong relationship.” As I have watched these two women leave their marriages, and leave their children with a less than stable condition I have seen happy, healthy, positive children, turn dark, sad, full of anger and hate for the whole world around them. These situations have literally changed these children forever, and left them feeling confused and alone.

As Roberts mentions raising children with a father and mother, in stable conditions is a vital need in homes and our communities. It is an eternal principle and one that will bless our lives through the eternities. We need to be prepared to stand up for the truths we believe and be prepared to be uncomfortable! It is no longer a time for us to sit idly by, we must defend God's teachings, even if it is at the expense of losing friendships. The pain associated with watching loved ones take a different path has been more than I can bear at times, especially as I watch their children suffer and struggle. But we can find joy in Sister Dew's message that, "If our lives and our faith are centered upon Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. . . . "